Adventure Cycling Association

My riding partner always shirks camp duties. How can I get them to contribute their fair share?

Dear Overworked,

Bummer! I feel for you on this one. Going out on a limb here, I assume that this is someone you enjoy riding with enough that you’ve put up with shouldering more than your fair share until now. If so, I say “hurray!” for having someone you like to ride with. Even if you’ve been riding and traveling with someone for a while, it doesn’t mean it will always be smooth sailing (or rolling!). And sometimes when we let things go, the other person just assumes that we’re fine with the status quo and nothing needs to change.

Just because bike travel is overall a ton of fun doesn’t mean that every single aspect is enjoyable. There is definitely work involved, and I don’t mean just while pedaling. I can think of plenty of people who love biking but when I start talking about camping, they say, “no, thank you.” With camping, there are more logistics and tasks: you need to pack all your gear, then set up your tent and other camp spaces, and the next morning pack it all up again (even less fun if you have a wet tent!). Then, of course, we need to feed ourselves, because food is fuel, and biking is definitely not fun if you’re hangry. If you are sharing a tent with your riding partner, maybe some of the camp duties causing strife include set-up/tear down, but if you’re not, then I’m guessing most of your friction is related to food duties.

To start, I’m wondering if you and your riding partner potentially have different expectations for your travels. Sometimes we have a vision in our minds as the way to tour, when really there are lots of ways to approach your adventure. For instance, maybe your friend is totally fine with carrying their gear, and maybe even camping, but was envisioning that you’d eat your meals out and not have to deal with meal planning, shopping, cooking and clean-up? If so, how would you feel about adapting to this style of bike travel? Do you cook because it’s easier on the budget or because the camp meals are a valued part of the experience for you? Or maybe both?

Another possibility is that your travel style (camping and cooking) is in line with your riding partner’s, but since you’ve taken the lead on these responsibilities, they assume you really like doing it. In this case, additional communication might be in order. Even if you like doing the meal planning and cooking, it sounds like you feel you are being taken advantage of and want things to change. If you’re already out on the road and experiencing this, the best thing to do is to speak up before these feelings grow into resentment (if they haven’t already). If you’re not currently on a trip with your riding partner but are starting to plan, this is the perfect time to tell them that you are looking for a more equitable partnership this time.

There could be several ways to accomplish this. On Adventure Cycling tours, we use a cooking rotation to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to shop for and cook a meal that they really like. You can set up your own mini cooking rotation, assigning each day’s meals ahead of time. Or you could agree to share the responsibilities each day, taking turns either doing the cooking or the clean-up (and decide how shopping fits in!). Maybe you can adopt a hybrid model for your meals, with you shopping and cooking on your night and your partner taking the “credit card” route and footing the restaurant bill when it’s their night?

There’s also the possibility that your riding partner is intimidated by the idea of cooking. It’s worth checking in with them to see if some of the avoidance stems from the concern that they won’t do a good job. You could have a couple of really easy recipes ready to go and reassure them that practically anything tastes great after a long day on the bike.

One fallback possibility, especially if you’re really fed up but want to keep riding with this person, would be to do your shopping, cooking and clean-up individually. Many bicycle tourists really enjoy the communal aspect of the experience, so it’s understandable if this isn’t your first choice. Perceptions of incompatibility with dietary restrictions or preferences may be another reason to go your separate ways with meals. If solo meal prep saves the touring partner relationship, it’s worth considering.

If you have this conversation with your riding partner and it still seems like you’re going to end up with more of the camp duties, are there other responsibilities that your riding partner can take on to potentially balance out some of this lopsidedness? Are they good at route planning or finding fun points of interest along the way? If so, they could organize your maps or create all the Ride with GPS routes beforehand. Are they good in stressful situations and do you appreciate their level-headedness? That’s really valuable. Are they a good storyteller and conversationalist and help make the miles fly by? Do they excel at finding a good playlist to jazz you up on the road? Can they set up your tent while you get dinner ready?

Ideally your riding partner will step up once you’ve been clear about your feelings and brainstormed some possible solutions with them. Or, if they contribute to making your tour fun and successful in other ways, it may be worth accepting that camp duties won’t be split 50/50. Ultimately though, it will be up to you to decide if their other efforts or qualities are enough to keep moving down the road with them on future trips.